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  • Writer's picturekara-duncan

The Second Most Important Decision

Updated: Sep 19, 2023

They say with age comes wisdom, which I love. So far in my age I’ve come to realize that there are two very critical decisions that someone makes in life. The first and most important decision is what you believe about God and eternity. When someone makes the commitment in not only who Jesus is, but decides to accept His ways there is forgiveness, eternal life and a lifetime here on earth growing deeper in our faith. Each of us is guaranteed to face death, so knowing what we believe about eternal life is critical.

So now you’re wondering what the second most important decision is, aren’t you?

In my humble opinion, it’s who you marry.

Think of it - it’s likely that whom you marry will be the one that you end up spending the majority of your adult life with. Being in union with them will alter the projection of your life. No marriage is perfect, and all marriages take work, but we really do seem to position ourselves well in life when we really hold weight and gravity to the decision of whom we’ll spend the rest of our earthly days with.

Here’s a TikTok video to support my theory:

And man did I choose wisely.

Denis is by far the BEST second decision I’ve ever made in my life. He’s made my life richer in so many ways. He has loved me faithfully in my highs and my lows. He’s helped me to grow in my career in ways I didn’t think possible. He’s encouraged me to be adventurous and move on several occasions. He’s always encouraged me to continue to deepen my relationship with God. He’s supported me in some of our darkest times. He’s been my rock and I’m blessed beyond measure to do life with him.

We recently had the honor of helping my parents celebrate their 50th wedding and anniversary. Can you believe that?! 50 years! Check out these sweet love birds:

As I reflect on their marriage, I’ve noticed some really rich fruit from their ability to choose wisely in their second most important decision:

  • They’ve remained friends throughout the years. They’ve always found ways to have fun and find adventure together.

  • They’ve given each other lots of grace and forgiveness. We’ve all got our different quirks and they’ve rolled right along with it.

  • They’ve made God the center of their marriage. Each of them have consistently modeled what it looks like to have their own quiet times and to also worship together.

  • They’ve learned the art of give and take. Marriage isn’t a one-way street. There are times of give and times of take. They’ve navigated this balance like experts over the years.

  • They know how to laugh and make light of things. We all know that life can really get you down if you let it. But I’ve watched them intentionally find ways to laugh and keep things light. They find the bright side and maintain positive perspectives.

  • They’ve encouraged each other’s individuality. Sure, they have plenty of things that they like to do together, but they also have their own unique interests and they support that for each other.

  • They make family a priority. Growing up I never felt like I took a second seat to anyone’s career or interests. My parents always made it clear that our family time and togetherness was of high value.

(We enjoyed a great dinner and dessert at Herban Fix in downtown Atlanta)

I pray many blessings on my parents as they celebrate this milestone year together. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for modeling what it looks like to not only make a wise second decision, but to value that decision and make your relationship a priority.

And I pray that as a reader you’ll be encouraged to pour your love and commitment into your marriage if that’s your story. And if you’re single and desiring marriage I pray that God give you wisdom on your upcoming decision.

What about you? Are there other decisions that you believe are critical in life? Feel free to share in the comments below.

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Shelby Snow
Shelby Snow

What an excellent read this was for me today. Marriage has always been a desire of my heart. Thank you for sharing about your parents and their marriage. I love how you broke it down, it even made me tear up. I want a Godly marriage in my life and I pray that His will be done!


I will pray that God gives you the desire of your heart. Thank you so much for reading; so glad you enjoyed it.



I love this and agree those are two of the most important decisions in life. A third for me is knowing your purpose or the assignment God has for your life. It has helped me to focus on the direction God has for me and feel fulfilled in doing the work of the ministry. Thanks for sharing this post. 🩷


Excellent point Marietta. Great wisdom you're sharing. Knowing and living out our assignment gives our days purpose. Thanks for reading!

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